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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28553067">A Cure I Know (That Soothes The Soul)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiny_kaiju/pseuds/tiny_kaiju'>tiny_kaiju</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Canon Compliant, Canon Non-Binary Character, Do Not Archive (The Magnus Archives), Explicit Sexual Content, No Beta, Oral Sex, Other, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Strap-Ons, Trans Male Character, also some very light d/s and praise kink, anyway rusty quill do not perceive me, ao3 make a nonbinary relationship tag challenge, barnes just has Men Get Pegged energy i do not make the rules, is there not a version of that tag for rqg?, well. mostly canon compliant anyway</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:15:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,239</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28553067</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiny_kaiju/pseuds/tiny_kaiju</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Barnes does look at them then, still blushing but with a shy grin spreading across his face. “Like I said, I’m not so good at the talking part,” he takes a step forward, following Cel into their room and sliding the door closed behind him. “But from the right person, I can take orders just fine.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Commander James Barnes/Celiquillithon "Cel" Sidebottom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Cure I Know (That Soothes The Soul)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So I definitely forgot about Cel's beast-shape potions and thought "I could be in another body" was an offer to top Barnes, and you know what? It's what they both deserve. Minors please do not read or interact with this fic, everyone else, enjoy.<br/>Barnes is a trans man in this, and I headcanon he's had the magical equivalent of top surgery and is on testosterone (shamelessly borrowing the concept of hart root tea aka HRT from skyjacks podcast, basically it functions as magic hormone juice). Cel figured out a way to connect their nerve endings to their strap, you can't tell me otherwise. Terms used for Barnes include cock/dick/hole, for Cel include cock/dick/folds, chests are only briefly mentioned and not in any detail. Brief mentions of dysphoria, but only as far as Cel mentioning using a strap when they get bottom dysphoria and Barnes saying he doesn’t enjoy front-hole penetration.<br/>Title from Moment's Silence - Hozier<br/>Not beta’d, please do let me know if I have massively fucked anything up lmao<br/>Finally, it’s absolutely vital that you know I’m basing their looks off of coralreefskim’s fanart designs: <a href="https://twitter.com/coralreefskim/status/1269158707008397313?s=21%20%E2%80%9Drel=">Cel</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/coralreefskim/status/1251755049522327553?s=21%20%E2%80%9Drel=">Barnes</a>.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Cel has been alive for a long time - nearly a century, in fact - but there are some things they still aren't used to. Probably will never be used to, honestly. The cold clench of their guts when they realized they had lost people, </span>
  <em>
    <span>again, </span>
  </em>
  <span>they had failed </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span> and people were gone and it was their </span>
  <em>
    <span>fault</span>
  </em>
  <span>, wasn’t any easier this time. Barnes, as usual, had seen right through them - half-conscious as he was after being healed, he had caught their hand to give a quick reassuring squeeze and a mumbled “S’gonna be okay,” and the relief that at least he was safe had felt like a physical weight being lifted from their chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Barnes blushing and stammering at their clumsy attempts at flirting that morning, though...Turns out there are some nice things they aren’t used to yet, either. It’s been a few hours since breakfast, everyone gone off to take care of their own business, and Cel excuses themself to their room, flops down on their bed. Brings their hands up to cover their face, grinning to themself at the butterflies flipping and fluttering through their stomach. “Well, that could have gone worse,” they muse, but a knock at the door startles them upright. “Coming!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They open the door to find Barnes, still looking a bit sheepish. “Oh! Hello, Barnes, how’s it going?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Cel,” he doesn’t quite meet their eyes, “Could we, ah, talk?” </span>
</p><p><span>“About...earlier? Was that not -- I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or, or pressured or anything, I just thought, well, I like you, Barnes, and with all that’s been happening, everyone switching bodies and then switching back and then dying and then </span><em><span>not</span></em> <span>being dead and you </span><em><span>almost</span></em><span> dying I just,” they shrug, “I didn’t want to not tell you anymore, because you deserve to know, y’know? But I am sorry if I made it weird, I know I can come on a bit strong-” </span></p><p>
  <span>He cuts them off there, “No, it’s nothing like that, I uh. I like you too, I’m just not so great at saying so.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, good,” Cel breathes a sigh of relief. “Did you...want to come in, then, or-- I don’t want to rush you, just, it’s been a while, and I wasn’t just saying that, you know, I really am glad you’re back in your body because it does suit you but you are </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>handsome, Mr. Barnes, and there’s only so much an elf can take, you know?” They’re babbling again, and they know it, but they can’t seem to stop - </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Barnes does look at them then, still blushing but with a shy grin spreading across his face. “Like I said, I’m not so good at the talking part,” he takes a step forward, following Cel into their room and sliding the door closed behind him. “But from the right person, I can </span>
  <em>
    <span>take </span>
  </em>
  <span>orders just fine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cel takes just the briefest moment to feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> so slightly smug, delighted that they had read the situation right after all, but one look at Barnes firmly shoves any and all internal gloating to the back of their mind. He’s just...</span>
  <em>
    <span>cute</span>
  </em>
  <span> is hardly the right word, seems demeaning, doesn’t really do credit to the work-roughened hands that still manage to be so gentle, or to the tantalizing expanse of chest exposed by how open he wears his shirt. Devastatingly sexy, that. But in this moment, the way he’s leaning back against the wall of their room, clearly out of his element but just as clearly </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanting</span>
  </em>
  <span> this as much as they do, soft brown eyes looking up at them through his thick dark eyelashes - it’s just, “Gods, you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>cute,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” and they lean in to finally, finally kiss him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few minutes, the slick slide of lips and tongues rendering both of them a little breathless, Barnes ducks down to mouth at their neck, trailing kisses down the sharp line of their jaw. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you want-- </span>
  <em>
    <span>hah,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Cel breaks off into a moan as Barnes nips at the soft skin above their collarbone, and they tug sharply at his hair. “Behave. I just want to, well, I want </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>but um, is there anything you specifically want me to do, or, or </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> do?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes go soft and hazy when they pull on his hair, and he licks his lips, visibly collecting his thoughts before speaking. “I don’t like anything inside uh, in front. In the back is good.” He rolls his hips, grinding down on the thigh Cel has conveniently wedged between his legs, his face incongruously sweet and open and vulnerable with want. “Anything else is good. Just tell me what you want, and I’m yours.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cel’s heart does a frankly embarrassing flutter at that, and they lean in to suck a bruise into Barnes’ neck to cover the sappy expression that’s probably on their face. “Mine, huh? I like the sound of that, let’s get some of these clothes out of the way then, yeah?” They slip their hands past the already unbuttoned collar of his shirt, sliding it off his shoulders to fall to the floor and drinking in the sight of the smooth, tan skin of his arms, the muscles shifting beneath the soft of his stomach, the twin scars tracing curved lines below his pecs. His hands tug at the laces of their trousers, and they quickly shimmy out of them, pulling back to shrug out of their shirt as well. </span>
</p><p><span>“Here, let me just find...I know I brought it with me, but,” They turn and begin rummaging through their bag of holding, leaning in nearly to their shoulders. Barnes chuckles a bit, but leans back against the wall patiently, palming himself through his trousers and listening to them ramble. “It’s a funny thing, gender, isn’t it? I mean, at least for </span><em><span>me,</span></em> <span>I don’t know, honestly dysphoria really isn’t such a big thing when you can just drink a potion and </span><em><span>be </span></em><span>in a different body, you know, I did make my own hart-root potions for a while but honestly who can remember to take it exactly once a week, and if you </span><em><span>don’t </span></em><span>then it doesn’t work like it’s meant to, but I </span><em><span>am </span></em><span>very good at science and I rigged it up so this,” they resurface, setting a small vial off to the side and triumphantly brandishing a bright green dildo connected to a web of soft leather straps, “connects to my nerves! It’s not </span><em><span>quite </span></em><span>the same as an organic one, but it does feel some stimuli, mostly heat and pressure, so it does the job nicely when I </span><em><span>do </span></em><span>get bottom dysphoria.” They wink, and set to fastening the straps around their hips. “Or if a certain commander might be interested, of course.” </span></p><p>
  <span>Cel turns to face him when there’s no immediate reply, but the undisguised hunger in his expression is answer enough, and they grin, catching their lower lip between their teeth. “Yeah?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Barnes’ voice comes out rough, and he folds gracefully to his knees, skimming his hands up the lean muscles of their thighs and pressing a kiss to their stomach before sitting back on his heels. “So...when you say stimuli, s’that mean you can feel it if I do...this?” Cel’s breath catches in their throat and Barnes smirks, holding eye contact as he leans in to close his lips around the tip of their cock. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>, ah, yes I can,” their hips twitch, and Barnes goes with it, sliding farther down the length of them, settling easily into a rhythm. “Gods, James, you’re lovely like this, such a good boy--” and there goes their mouth again, but it’s worth it for the wrecked-sounding </span>
  <em>
    <span>moan</span>
  </em>
  <span> he lets out around their cock. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulls off, wrapping his hand around them and stroking while he dips down to lap at their folds and up the base of their cock, panting, looking up at them with his molten brown eyes. “Tell me more?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cel doesn’t miss a beat, even as Barnes takes them in his mouth again and swallows down the length of them. “Of course, love, you wanna hear how good you’re being for me, how good you make me feel? You’re wonderful, so good to me, James, gonna make me- </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh </span>
  </em>
  <span>fuck-” Words fail them, for once, and all that comes out is a low whine as their orgasm crashes over them like a wave. Bracing themself with one hand on the wall, their other hand pets through Barnes’ hair and over his cheek, urging him off of their cock and pulling him to stand so they can kiss him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You,” they murmur against his lips, “are just unfairly good at that, I hope you know. Gods. As soon as my legs stop shaking, I’m gonna take you to pieces.” A brief pause, just long enough for Barnes to run his fingers through their hair while they suck a nice bruise above his collarbone. Once they’ve got their breath back, they nip at his earlobe lightly, letting their voice go low and growly. “Turn around, handsome.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Barnes’ breath catches in his throat at that, and he’s quick to obey, fingers deftly undoing the fastenings of his own trousers and letting them fall to the floor before grinding back against Cel. They allow it for a moment, hands dropping to Barnes’ hips to pull him close and rub their cock up against the curve of his ass, but after a moment they pull back just far enough to reach the vial of oil they had set aside. Pressing a kiss between his shoulderblades, they slick up two fingers. “Is this okay?” They ask innocently, tracing one finger over the tight ring of muscle, not pressing in yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Barnes shivers, hips twitching back almost involuntarily, and nods. “Please.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had thought about this before, a bit; wondered if he would still be so reserved in more intimate moments. He still isn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>loud, </span>
  </em>
  <span>exactly, but the low, needy whine he lets out as Cel presses one finger slowly in still sends a thrill down their spine. They duck their head to mouth at his neck, murmuring praise in his ear as they slide their finger in further. “So gorgeous for me,” pulling out, returning after a moment to stroke two fingers into him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Barnes’ face is slack with pleasure, his dark eyes half-lidded and his mouth falling open around a shuddering gasp when Cel twists their wrist and fucks into him a little harder, spreading their fingers. “M-more,” he manages after a few minutes of them working him open on two, then three fingers. “Want your cock, Cel.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That sends a jolt of arousal through them, and they grin, leaning back just far enough to drizzle some oil over their dick and press the blunt head of it against the rim of his hole. Barnes rocks his hips back just enough to take the tip of it, bracing his forearms against the wall, and drags a punched-out moan from Cel in the process. “Gods, James, you feel incredible,” their hands settle on his hips, holding him still as they ease the rest of the way in, “look so good spread out on my cock like this.” He really does - they can’t help but run their hands up the muscled planes of his back and shoulders, and lean in to suck another bruising kiss into the soft skin behind his ear before pulling back and thrusting in again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them are going to last much — Barnes is silken hot and tight around their cock, and he falls apart so sweetly for them, quiet throaty moans and gasps with each thrust as he rocks back to meet them. Cel brings up two fingers to tap at his lower lip, and he eagerly takes them into his mouth, tongue sliding over and between them as he sucks. “Good boy,” they murmur against his shoulder, reaching down to where his cock is already aching and hard to stroke their spit-slick fingers over it, rubbing in firm little circles until Barnes clenches down around them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gods, Cel, I’m—“ he cuts himself off with a groan, twitching and gasping as they fuck him through his orgasm, whining when Cel bites down on his shoulder to muffle their cry as they come, trembling through the aftershocks. They put a steadying hand on the small of his back as they pull out, and he turns, leaning back against the wall and watching them fiddle with the straps and buckles to take off their harness, which ends up tossed to the side to deal with later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They give him a little grin, uncharacteristically shy, and run their hand through their shock of silver-blonde hair. “So…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feeling bold, for once, Barnes steps forward. “Can I hold you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cel’s heart is doing that embarrassing fluttering thing again, and they can’t do much more than nod — the happiness swelling in their chest feels like it could pop them like a balloon. He’s not especially chatty in the afterglow either, as it turns out, but he settles onto Cel’s bed like he belongs there and his arms wrap around them like he’s holding something precious. They smile, curling into his side and pillowing their head on his shoulder. “Let’s do this again sometime, yeah?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes crinkle in a smile, and he leans down to kiss them again. “Anytime you like.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yes, I know the place they ended up staying was more like a bunkhouse in canon, but for porn reasons everyone gets their own rooms. Also, shoutout to my first week on T giving me No Thoughts Horny Dick-For-Brains disorder and churning out over 2k words of porn in like a week.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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